The Lament of the Lonely Dildo

 
I am a lonely dildo.
I stand here by myself.
My mistress went off with a man
and left me on the shelf.

To while away the lonely hours
I penned this little song,
about the short comings of men
and how they do girls wrong.

For men are on an ego trip,
they all behave the same,
they think that girls are objects
and that sex is just a game.

At first its flowers and chocolates
and talk about fair play,
but they soon forget the rulebook
if they do not get their way.

That’s not to say all men are bad.
Some men can be quite gentle,
but a kindly hearted simpleton
can drive a girl quite mental.

They come in all varieties,
from wallies, wets and wimps,
to latent necrophiliacs
and perverts  prudes and pimps.

But there’s one thing you can count on,
in whatever form they come,
at heart a man is still a boy
and will treat you like his mum.

So I’ll wait here for my mistress.
I know that she’ll come back.
No man could satisfy her needs,
he wouldn’t have the knack.

Be faithful to your dildo girls.
Don’t forget your friend.
Though men will always let you down,
I’ll be here  -  up your end.

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